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Tuesday 31 March 2015

Dealing With Bipolar Anger Part 2 - For Those With Bipolar

In the last article we looked at bipolar anger as part one of the conditions in which anger control is depleted. We saw how family members might be able to work with and protect themselves from the effects of a loved ones anger. But what can a person with bipolar do to help themselves deal with the anger associated with the condition bipolar?

Does Bipolar Respond To Normal Anger Management Techniques?

There is no short answer to this question. First of all It's vital to stress that 'normal' anger management techniques aren't likely to be entirely successful in many conditions where there is reduced chemical or neurological ability to deal with anger. Although the chemical make-up involved in bipolar is not fully understood I think it would be fair to say that whatever the cause the chemistry of any brain can be changed so that certain susceptibilities are evident Bipolar is not the only example of such a chemical complexity but it is the subject of this article.


If we work with the premise that in bipolar the internal chemistry causes a kind of short-circuit anger response  then we would be looking at working with both short and long-term intervention. In bipolar we cannot 'afford' the luxury of the belated time-frame in terms of intervention. However, a person is a whole and therefore can only ever be treated as such.

OK, so to cut the jargon what does this mean in practical terms?


  • Don't wait for triggers 
  • Do recognise susceptible periods for anger 
  • Do work with immediate short-term outbursts
  • Do work with long-term anger issues

Working With Long-Term Issues in Bipolar?

Because you are a whole person It is important to work with your overall emotional health and it is important to work with such long-terms concepts such as who you are, what you want out of life and listening to your inner voice. Even if some of the effects of bipolar anger seem uncontrollable at times the general happiness of you as an individual will greatly contribute to your enjoyment of life and motivation. No person wants to be reduced to a life of simply controlling symptoms so it's important that you experience authenticity, validation and a sense of purpose. You could do this through counselling or coaching or through working with self-help books. People have various ways in which they start being able to hear their inner voice. It's also important to have a wide range of experiences in life and the freedom to explore new ideas. 

Working With Immediate Issues In Bipolar

The overall emotional health of any individual is important but it's equally it's important to recognise your own personal 'danger' points during the cycle of the condition, by this I mean those times when you or your chemical make-up feel altered in some way. Some people with bipolar have identified the following as possible changes in chemistry:

  • Depressive episodes 
  • Manic episodes 
  • The Menstrual Cycle 
  • Ovulation
  • Sexual tension
  • Hunger
Of course, these changes can occur in any person - even a person without a diagnosis can get depressed or experience manic euphoria but for those with a diagnosis of bipolar these life changes can present a real difficulty or even a danger zone in terms of being able to feel in control of their behaviour and it's important to recognise this. Some people with bioplar will eventually begin to sense a general feeling of 'nervous energy', short-curciting or other sensation particular to them which signifies an important change and can mean a greater susceptibility to anger. It's important to learn about and know yourself in order to work with it. 

The Role Of Family

Family can either be a help or a hinderance in understanding your triggers. Some people find that their family members begin to spot patterns in them before the moods change or they identify trigger points such as hunger/overcrowding in the person with bipolar long before you come to recognise that trigger yourself. However, other people may be more introspective, sensitive or find that the family overcrowd their thought process and ability to understand themselves. If you are one of these types then you might do well to ensure that every day you have a period of time where you can lock into yourself, keep a symptom diary, meditate, pray or do whatever you need to become grounded and aware. Some with bioplar find that engaging in a regular activity such as work, prayers, meditation or other regular practise helps them to identify their needs and see patterns more clearly as a regular practise allows a firm background against which you can more easily spot anomalies. 

Understanding Yourself

A healthy understanding of yourself is not the same as being self-obsessed. Getting to know yourself, love and respect your limitations and know your fortes can help you develop healthy boundaries. No-one likes being told they can't do something so self-management is the only way forward with any kind of condition. It will take considerable work if not life-work to understand yourself. It will take even more work to respect yourself enough to try to set boundaries around other people - especially your family and loved ones! It's very important that you work with activities that help build your self-esteem otherwise your lack of emotional health can make it harder to set boundaries. When we don't set boundaries for ourselves it becomes all to easy to blame other for our failings. Try to work with building yourself up and gaining greater self-knowledge. Some ideas for this are:

  • Take regular time out to be with yourself
  • Adopt a regular practise 
  • Keep to a simple routine you can maintain
  • Pray, meditate or engage in art activity in which you download 
  • Accept feedback from other where valuable 
  • Decide on some healthy boundaries
It's vital that in setting personal boundaries that you don't isolate or alienate others because social contact is vital. There may be times when you desire social contact but recognise you are in a susceptible phase - what can be done about this? Try talking to your family during a good period or when you are on a level so that you have a game plan of how to deal with susceptible moods, for example; you could gain a code word or phrase which allows you to tell your family how you feel without having to explain in detail as often during episodes it will not be possible to communicate that extensively. If you a single person you might chose to be out so as not to isolate yourself but not to hook up with anyone socially until you feel your susceptible period has passed, for example; you may go to a park, library, cafe or pub and sit quietly by yourself using body language that indicates you are having a quiet period. 

The Power Of Now

It's important for every living being in this hectic world we live in to understand the importance of the being able to enjoy the moment. Often in this modern world we are always working toward the next goal or achievement but failing to enjoy the moment. It's no less and probably even more important that those who struggle with mental and emotional illness learn the power of being able to just enjoy the moment. Try the following exercise if you find it difficult to be in the moment:

Focus for a moment on a part of your body - you could start with the feet. Focus on how your feet feel and really become aware of them, now do the same with your ankles and calves working your way up the body. During this exercise do not allow your mind to drift on to 'things' in your head but remain present entirely in your body. You will notice less 'fuzz' in your head as you do so. As you work your way up to your head try also to release tension from both your physical head and emotional mind. Allow yourself to notice your surroundings, look at where you are and tell yourself you are there. Try to imagine you had seen all of your surroundings for the first time. Breathe! 

This is only a short version of an exercise you can try. Learning to be present takes time and effort but gradually things will start to change around you and your perspective will widen  out 

Taking Responsibility For You! 

One of the greatest pleasures in life is our ability to be able to enjoy the company of others. Anger when inappropriately expressed can impede greatly on our ability to enjoy relations with others and can therefore be distressing. However, your greatest responsibility is toward yourself. Only you have the tools and power to deal with your bipolar anger, your happiness and your future. Learning about yourself, your boundaries and your triggers can help you greatly in being able to have a fuller life but predominately there main body of responsibility falls upon you to look after, love and care for your own emotional needs. 

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